[RANT] Why the IB Internal Assessment is very, very stupid

Who can tell I’m really not in the mood for writing my English/History IAs? XD

Anways, I’d like to rant on why these things are pretty frickin’ stupid, to waste my own time, others’ time and maybe give people a reason to smile while they’re trying to write their stupid essays too.

I’d just like to start with the fact that we’re wasting electricity and killing trees by doing this. Why, our teachers must have downed at least 3 trees’ worth of paper just to print IA instructions for us. Then there’s the wasting electricity thing: we’re wasting many, many hours researching boring information, clogging the tubes of the internets, spending countless late nights writing stuff, and all for what?

Really, what is anyone gaining by us writing these essays? So what if we can look at a bunch of information and pull some kind of conclusion from it? This is all stuff the world already knows! I think that instead of making us poor smart-kids-who-just-happen-to-suck-at-history-or-don’t-want-to-waste-their-time-studying-this-crap study this crap, they should be teaching us more science or something so we can go on to be the prime ministers of Canada (or in my case: become dictator of the world), finding cures for cancer and the common cold, international lawyers, teachers at Harvard, etc.

To me, the IA just sounds like a glorified, excessively long essay. That’s really all it is. I mean, how many successful people can you name that you know graduated from I.B.? I can’t think of any. That’s because successful people didn’t need to waste their time learning how to bs like there’s no tomorrow; they were learning valuable skills like… well, see the jobs I named in the previous paragraph, imagine the skills those jobs need, because we’re definitely not being taught those by writing 2,000-word essays about stuff that no one cares about.

I mean, our own teacher isn’t even motivated to do this. Why? Because of how much marking there is involved! All the IA does is cause pain for everyone. So they should do everyone a favor and just forget about the IA and teach us how to find the cure for cancer.

I’m going to close this post with a definition of IB from UrbanDictionary.com, I’m sure this’ll get a smile out of all us poor, overworked IB kids:

“A program created in an attempt to control the minds of the youths of the future, implemented by Swiss lawn gnomes, by preventing their exposure to the outside world.

The state goals of the program are to provide students with an education rounded out across five program areas (“groups”) – including Language 1, Language 2, Social Sciences, Science, Math, and Art/Option. Additional elements of the program include CAS (a system used to force students out of the house once in a while), ToK (philosophy) and Extended Essay.

In an attempt to shove too much information down the throats of students, the program ends up significantly improving the core skill required to succeed in IB: Bullshit. The phrase I.B. therefore I B.S. comes from this.

IB teaches students to turn sh*t into gold.
<Edit> I just found another definition I like:
“The International Baccalaureate Program is an organization dedicated to the predation of young minds through manipulation and psycological brainwashing. It corrupts students into believing that they are part of a priviledged and elite society of more intelligent beings and raises its own prestige by forcing students to commit to nineteen hour work days, thereby causing parents to believe that the massive and unreasonable amount of travail must equate with a higher education. This in turn deters the ordinarily rational parents from protesting when asked to pay absurd amounts of money for exams that their children grow to despise. It is not until their fourth year in this fraudulent program that the participants realize that this course has no effect on the colleges to which they intend to apply. By this time, the student has already dedicated thousands of hours to this corporation (doubt not that it is indeed a corporation) and human nature insists that they complete the program.

Its long, unpronounceable and un-spellable name only adds to its supposed prominence.

In short, this institution is designed to swindle valuable money and time away from its members by exploiting competitive young adults.”

    • Stephie
    • May 17th, 2010

    Jess, you are a GENIOUS. One of my fav rants yet! 😀

    If only the board of directors could see this…. ;P

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